79th Academy Awards
Oscar nominees, winners, losers and Ellen Degeneres
Ceremony was boring, ran too long and even the celebrities looked like they'd rather be eating pizza
The Oscars brought out Hollywood’s brightest stars to one of the cheesiest intersections in L.A. – the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood and Highland last night. But even the couture gowns, treasures of jewelry, dazzling skin and hairstyles weren't enough to rescue what was inherently a snooze-fest.
The 79th annual Academy Awards could have been so beautiful, so inspiring, so infinitely watchable; instead, the TV show was zzzzz all round.
Let’s start with the red carpet. There’s always a phalanx of interviewers in their so-so tuxes and gowns waving their nation’s flag (I saw at least one with the maple leaf) and you’d think they’d have prepared for the onslaught of talent. But no, there was E!’s Ryan Seacrest interviewing the incomparable Jodie Foster and telling her she’s won a couple of Oscars and asking her, so what’s it like? Why didn’t he mention the films she won for? The four-time Oscar nominee won for The Accused and, of course for The Silence of the Lambs. Both were ground-breaking films and Seacrest could have mentioned them. Likely he didn’t do his homework.
Once inside, host Ellen DeGeneres did a charming and quirky enough job, wandering through the aisles, getting Steven Spielberg to take a photo of her with Clint Eastwood for her MySpace page – funny ha ha! But there wasn’t enough of her and there wasn’t enough continuity.
The interpretative dance stuff was just plain odd and out of place and creepy at times (what were they doing behind that curtain?). My vote would have been for Cirque du Soleil – they can do no wrong.
Was it just me or did two hours pass before an award that anyone cares about was handed out. I don’t mean to ignore the hard-working people behind the scenes but no-one tunes in for four hours to hear about the special effects or sound editing or piano tinkling or best boy or gaffer. They just don’t. We want glamour, we want celebrity, we want escapism.
There were some weird lookers in the crowd. Nicole Kidman has had so much work done on her face that she looks like she’s stretched Saran Wrap over herself. Pretty, shiny, and creepy. And Jennifer Hudson? Let’s just say that the majority of the guests at the party I was at last night held their collective breaths hoping the former American Idol contestant wouldn’t fall out of her red dress while performing. Girl, get a proper-fitting brassiere. Did anyone else notice Beyonce shooting her looks with pitchforks attached?
Was Clint Eastwood really translating for Ennio Morricone or making it up? Are they friends in real life?
Helen Mirren rocked. Forest Whitaker was genuine and… Martin Scorsese finally got the statue.
Still, I hope the show and the celebrities perform better next year. Maybe there's a problem with the location?
